Connections. We don't have to understand how it works do we? We only have to appreciate that it does and in an infinite variety of ways. Perhaps those connections that are the most lasting is because shared exchanges, whether on paper or in person, resonated with our hearts in addition to just our intellect. The "eyes of the heart" go beyond the logic of intellect. I always appreciate the "Great Mystery" that winks down upon us. Thank you!
I felt so comforted by this and thank you for the mention. There is only one me and that maybe that's part of growth.
Maybe there's something deeper there to look at because as we grow our capability of one person to meaningfully connect naturally diminishes. Not through lack of care. But how tight you hold on to the identity of being something that capacity doesn't allow anymore.
Believe it or not, I'm fiercely private, even thought on here I'm not and that maybe I'm trying to connect with myself moreso. I don't know.
I felt like we were standing on the same mountain looking at different views which made this fascinating to read.
Not sure if that makes sense, I'm basically in a stream of consciousness at this stage of the comment. Brilliant..
"Perhaps connection is simply the extent to which one person leaves a lasting impression on another, regardless of how long they remain in each other’s lives."
This is the sentence that makes the whole article for me. I've always said that I joined Substack because I wanted to genuinely connect with people. In this article, you expounded on how broad that word "connection" really is. And this statement just made it easier for me to understand my own motivations for why I'm here. Yes, I do want to connect. But connecting with a vast array of people with different backgrounds means just as many different kinds of connections will be made. Short, long, instant, strong, deep, superficial, slow-burn, etc. And that's what makes it interesting, don't you think?
I am grateful for every connection I have made here. I really mean that. Thank you for making me realize that with this beautifully written article. 🙏
Alex I feel so bad. You write such long and beautiful comments and until a few weeks ago I was on top of them and replying properly. And then I had a ‘cat’astrophe and it went belly up. I will answer this properly - one day - 😭😭
🤣 Don't you dare feel bad ever, dude! That “cat”astrophe had brought immense joy to loads of people, including me!!! It's enough that you've read my comment. No need to even reply. We're all good👍
I didn’t see that - although I have some issues with the whole testosterone situation but I’ll reserve any judgement until I see what he’s saying. Obviously I didn’t think this because I’m not sad enough to look at the mechanics of a cat doing a BB squat but I’m think m Larry has ankle mobility issues on his left side. And I wish I was joking that didn’t come into my head when I saw the image 😂😂
I can’t even find anything anymore. Why so many people restack some things and not others . I think the best stuff gets ignored 😂😂 also the algorithm doesn’t love 200 restacks of pets
🤣🤣 I honestly don't know how you could keep up. The deluge of pets is cute though. Didn't you know you'd be swamped if you asked people for pictures of cats? You should have asked for pictures of spouses!🤣
After reading this, it left me thinking about the distinction between approachable and accessible. There have been times I’ve been told I seemed unapproachable, never quite understanding why. Very few people see me. Those are the connections I remember years later.
I think people also misunderstand that sometimes (meaning a lot of the time) people have things going on in their own life’s and what someone interprets thinking it’s about them likely has nothing to do with that - (if that makes sense)
This piece is different from your other pieces. I liked how you separated connection from accessibility. It's something I have sensed, but the way you gave it language it is excellent. As always, brilliant writing 🤍
This article is not personal. Sounded familiar. Unbelievable piece of writing. I’ll be honest I saw the title and thought here we go. Another bore fest, but your stuff always takes its own road
Connection as a spectrum. That makes more sense for all the different relationships of life. Really liked this. It was written beautifully. Expectations are complicated. Read it twice. Still digesting it.
There definitely can be a seasonality to connection as well. You've nailed scale of connection from ephemeral to persistent.
A note that sent me off on a tangent that left me thinking for hours and seeing a friend who suffered with me through the Oxfam Trailwalker 100km walk in 48 hours in 2018 - a 5 minute hug and a chat between kids basketball games but all of the memories were alive in that hug.
Ah good. Any of your pieces of work you are most proud of I can read later or shall I just find one from the start? Feel free to link it here if so. I’m going spend a few hrs this afternoon reading
I really enjoyed reading this piece, leaving clinical explanations at the door and leaning more into what connection means to you and your experience of it in relation to others. It feels different from your earlier pieces which I really appreciate.
I really enjoy that you are raising more questions for yourself (and me as a reader) rather then proving clear answers. This really resonated with me and I found it really meaningful to read.
Read it, then went for a long walk. It's made me feel: quality of relationship is always enriching. Metrics that express quantity are nearly always problematic, since they invite comparison, and comparison is poison to happiness. You just can't compare quality in the same way, which is a blessing.
I really liked this - it’s a very different take on something you see written over again
Connections. We don't have to understand how it works do we? We only have to appreciate that it does and in an infinite variety of ways. Perhaps those connections that are the most lasting is because shared exchanges, whether on paper or in person, resonated with our hearts in addition to just our intellect. The "eyes of the heart" go beyond the logic of intellect. I always appreciate the "Great Mystery" that winks down upon us. Thank you!
I felt so comforted by this and thank you for the mention. There is only one me and that maybe that's part of growth.
Maybe there's something deeper there to look at because as we grow our capability of one person to meaningfully connect naturally diminishes. Not through lack of care. But how tight you hold on to the identity of being something that capacity doesn't allow anymore.
Believe it or not, I'm fiercely private, even thought on here I'm not and that maybe I'm trying to connect with myself moreso. I don't know.
I felt like we were standing on the same mountain looking at different views which made this fascinating to read.
Not sure if that makes sense, I'm basically in a stream of consciousness at this stage of the comment. Brilliant..
Hey KH, I’m so sure I replied to this but it appears I didn’t.
There is a paragraph or two in there which I think (based on what you’ve told us/me) that is very much you. Approachable/Accessible - that part.
Sorry for the lateness in reply. I’m currently proving to myself exactly why I shouldn’t have responsibilities - lol
"Perhaps connection is simply the extent to which one person leaves a lasting impression on another, regardless of how long they remain in each other’s lives."
This is the sentence that makes the whole article for me. I've always said that I joined Substack because I wanted to genuinely connect with people. In this article, you expounded on how broad that word "connection" really is. And this statement just made it easier for me to understand my own motivations for why I'm here. Yes, I do want to connect. But connecting with a vast array of people with different backgrounds means just as many different kinds of connections will be made. Short, long, instant, strong, deep, superficial, slow-burn, etc. And that's what makes it interesting, don't you think?
I am grateful for every connection I have made here. I really mean that. Thank you for making me realize that with this beautifully written article. 🙏
God help us 😂
🤣🤣 I think we're beyond help, mate!
would you like to test your funniness?
🤣 I guess. How?
Whatever you tell me to post or create image wise (or you can) we do it (not on this one 🤫🤫🤫) he’s in a slump and I think only you can pull him out
Let’s be honest mate. If the big man hasn’t turned up by now he ain’t coming
Alex I feel so bad. You write such long and beautiful comments and until a few weeks ago I was on top of them and replying properly. And then I had a ‘cat’astrophe and it went belly up. I will answer this properly - one day - 😭😭
🤣 Don't you dare feel bad ever, dude! That “cat”astrophe had brought immense joy to loads of people, including me!!! It's enough that you've read my comment. No need to even reply. We're all good👍
I didn’t see that - although I have some issues with the whole testosterone situation but I’ll reserve any judgement until I see what he’s saying. Obviously I didn’t think this because I’m not sad enough to look at the mechanics of a cat doing a BB squat but I’m think m Larry has ankle mobility issues on his left side. And I wish I was joking that didn’t come into my head when I saw the image 😂😂
🤣 I looked back at it, and you're right! Poor Larry.
Hold on. How do you know? What’s your job by the way?
Because it looked a bit wonky?🤣🤣 I'm a teacher by profession (don't laugh😃) but I'm not working right now.
I can’t even find anything anymore. Why so many people restack some things and not others . I think the best stuff gets ignored 😂😂 also the algorithm doesn’t love 200 restacks of pets
🤣🤣 I honestly don't know how you could keep up. The deluge of pets is cute though. Didn't you know you'd be swamped if you asked people for pictures of cats? You should have asked for pictures of spouses!🤣
It’s like working voluntary for the council - I’ve never worked for the council so I’ve no idea but I kind of feel like it is.
Alex. I’m trying to change the hearts and minds of the world. Not get in the gutter 😂😂
🤣 🤣 There you go. Anyway, it's a good idea to drown people with cuteness before you go dish the dirt on the new PM!
I wouldn’t if you just wrote. Thanks for sharing 😂
Thanks for sharing. 🤣🤣🤣
Appreciate you reading
After reading this, it left me thinking about the distinction between approachable and accessible. There have been times I’ve been told I seemed unapproachable, never quite understanding why. Very few people see me. Those are the connections I remember years later.
I think people also misunderstand that sometimes (meaning a lot of the time) people have things going on in their own life’s and what someone interprets thinking it’s about them likely has nothing to do with that - (if that makes sense)
So much to think about here. We might have more options for connection, but that doesn't make genuine connection easier.
This piece is different from your other pieces. I liked how you separated connection from accessibility. It's something I have sensed, but the way you gave it language it is excellent. As always, brilliant writing 🤍
I have quite a few writing styles. I like educational writing but I can be really boring - so I dodge them. Thank you.
🙏
This article is not personal. Sounded familiar. Unbelievable piece of writing. I’ll be honest I saw the title and thought here we go. Another bore fest, but your stuff always takes its own road
Bellend
Connection as a spectrum. That makes more sense for all the different relationships of life. Really liked this. It was written beautifully. Expectations are complicated. Read it twice. Still digesting it.
Thanks 🙏
👍
There definitely can be a seasonality to connection as well. You've nailed scale of connection from ephemeral to persistent.
A note that sent me off on a tangent that left me thinking for hours and seeing a friend who suffered with me through the Oxfam Trailwalker 100km walk in 48 hours in 2018 - a 5 minute hug and a chat between kids basketball games but all of the memories were alive in that hug.
Plurality in connection, I love it.
100km walk in that’s a decent distance. Bet that came with a few blisters. Thanks for reading. Appreciate it 🫶
Mate - blisters, nails falling off, agony, it was a whole thing.
I do, genuinely (not in the AI way) love your writing.
I like how you make me think about things in new ways.
In a good way?
Yes!
Ah good. Any of your pieces of work you are most proud of I can read later or shall I just find one from the start? Feel free to link it here if so. I’m going spend a few hrs this afternoon reading
If you like learning about people, this is me completely over-sharing. 😆 https://substack.com/@theresilientzebra/note/p-207228856?r=8q5kho
Thank you - I’ll read this afternoon
I only have 3 so far, but this one I think is my best. https://substack.com/@theresilientzebra/note/p-207111341?r=8q5kho
I really enjoyed reading this piece, leaving clinical explanations at the door and leaning more into what connection means to you and your experience of it in relation to others. It feels different from your earlier pieces which I really appreciate.
I really enjoy that you are raising more questions for yourself (and me as a reader) rather then proving clear answers. This really resonated with me and I found it really meaningful to read.
Huh! What a really interesting read. I'm going to turn this over in my head a few hundred times and come back to you. Very good.
Read it, then went for a long walk. It's made me feel: quality of relationship is always enriching. Metrics that express quantity are nearly always problematic, since they invite comparison, and comparison is poison to happiness. You just can't compare quality in the same way, which is a blessing.