Deflect. Divert. Avoid.
ADHD/Anxiety mechanism to distract from feeling uncomfortable.
ADHD & Relationship Realities & Confusions
To escape my discomfort from my previous post here’s a few random moments from my dating life
Her: “You need to start supporting me more with the kids. We’re a team.”
Me: “Yep. Sure. 100%.”
3 hours later
Her: “Can you just stay out of it. They’re my fucking kids.”
Her: “I just don’t understand why you won’t come to Nan’s 80th.”
Her: “Can you put that Ikea table together?”
Me: “I can’t. I’ve tried loads. I genuinely won’t be able to do it. I can’t get my head round it. I’ll quit really quickly and end up losing bits”
Her: “Don’t be an idiot. Any moron can put Ikea furniture together. You just can’t be bothered. Do it please.”
45 mins later
Her: “What the fuck are you doing? You’ve barely started. Just get out the way I’ll do it myself”
10 mins later
Her: “Where’s part 12?… I can’t find it anywhere."
Her: “That’s the same excuse you gave last week.”
Me: “Yeah, and unless it gets magically fixed - it’ll be the same next week and the following one….. if we’re still together by then.”
Her: “Can you put the cooler box in the boot. Now please”.
Me: “On it. I’m doing it right now”
2 hours later… we arrive at the beach.
Her: “Where’s the fucking cooler box? You didn’t put it in the boot, did you?”
Me: “Well, I thought I did, but obviously not”
Her: “Three fucking hours I spent this morning making everything and you can’t even do that one little thing right”.
Me: “I’m really really sorry. I fucked up. But it’s hardly a big deal. It’s only a few sandwiches, some sausage rolls and a few carrot sticks. I’ll go to the shop.
Her: “WTF did you just say.”
Her: “You’re literally a 7-year-old boy”
Me: “I told you when we first met this happens”
Her: “I didn’t think you were being serious did I?”
Me: “Why would I lie and make myself out to be retarded?”
Her: “I thought you were lowering my expectations, so I’d be pleasantly surprised”
Me: “How’s that working out for ya?”
I'm pretty good about compensating for the memory issues with structure and routine. I've done some epic memory things on vacation such as leaving the fanny pack with our passports, cash and credit card on the shuttle bus. I stupidly put the car keys in a carry-on luggage that ended up being checked and didn't come off the plane. And I've left a bag at the luggage carousel. Each time my husband has remained calm. He went back for the piece of luggage which meant going back through customs in Mexico. The passports were brought back by the driver- A few hours later- because we were able to give him a call through the hotel. And the cab ride home, when the keys didn't come off the plane, ended up half price since the taxi broke down 🥴 😂
Quickly becoming one of my favourite voices in Substack, keep being you